Recommended Reading


Chapman, Gary. The 5 love languages. Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2004.

The concept of their being several “love languages” is an essential part of being able to relate and love well. The book explains 5 common “languages” and there is a questionnaire at the back of the book for both partners. I recommend interviewing each other for the answers, rather than taking each quiz individually.

Harley, Willard F. His Needs, Her Needs. Revell, 2011.

This is highly recommended by a client for understanding the differing perspectives brought into relationship difficulty.

Love, Patricia and Stosny, Steven. How to improve your marriage without talking about it. New York: Broadway Books, 2007.

This is by far the best book for couples I have read. It addresses both the perspective of the typical husband and typical wife and how to connect again through strategies other than talking about what’s wrong.

Markman, Howard; Stanley, Scott; and Blumberg, Susan. Fighting for your marriage. San Franciso: Jossey-Bass Inc., Publishers, 1994.

In this book, communication skills are broken down clearly and demonstrated for practice. With these basic communication skills, problem-solving is significantly easier – and in some cases, unnecessary. Sometimes, if we are heard well, that is all we need.

Payson, Eleanor D. The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists. Julian Day Publications, 2009.
Excellent for the non-clinician to identify and cope with a difficult personality type that we encounter far more than we probably realize. It is especially interesting how the author challenges us to recognize behaviors in ourselves that are narcissistic in nature.

Puhn, Laurie. Fight Less, Love More. Rodale, 2010.
Written by a divorce mediator, this book successfully identifies key elements to warm communication in a way that is easy to understand, though perhaps not always easy to utilize. With practice of these strategies, however, the reader of this book will improve their communication and eventually come to see the strategies themselves as easier than fighting.


Cline, Foster and Fay, Jim. Parenting with love and logic. Colorado Springs, CO: Pinon Press, 2006.

A kind approach toward mentoring our children that promotes their own good judgment and responsibility so that we don’t have to govern them as they grow older.

Cline, Foster and Fay, Jim. Parenting teens with love and logic. NavPress Publishing, 2006.

Ginott, Haim. Between parent and child. Three Rivers Press, 2003.
This book truly revolutionized how to talk to a child, changing parenting from a one-way lecture to a two-way conversation that empowered kids and parents to improve a child’s behavior through empathic and reflective communication. Originally written in the 1950’s, the older version had some parts that needed revision in order to be relevant and effective today. The 2003 edition contains the necessary revisions.

Fogarty, James A. Over-indulged children: A parent’s guide to mentoring. Raleigh: Liberty Publishing Group, 2003.

“Put your pocketbook away! Love ‘em, don’t overindulge ‘em!” is the opening page quote from Dr. Fogarty and the summary for the whole concept of the book. Keep reading, though, because the book explains HOW to do that, what we’re thinking when we over-indulge and how to turn our good intentions into good mentoring.

Kvols, Kathryn J. Redirecting children’s behavior. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1998.

Common and frustrating behavior is addressed in this brief and pragmatic book. My favorite parenting books use warmth and creativity to “redirect” rather than “discipline” children and this one is excellent.

Phelan, Thomas. 1.2.3 Magic. Parentmagic, Inc., 2010.

This book and video offer a simple and effective use of time-out strategy to warmly redirect children to cooperative behavior.


Bourne, Edmund J. The anxiety and phobia workbook. Oakland, CA: New Barbinger Publications, 2003.

This book explains anxiety in all of its forms, from healthy anxiety to the spectrum of disorders. Cognitive-behavioral treatment methods are recommended and described, as well as several exercises to combat and control symptoms.

Burns, David D. When panic attacks. NY: Broadway Books, 2006.

David Burns is an MD who offers an approach to reducing and eliminating anxiety that does not rely on pharmaceuticals. The methods are cognitive-behavioral and focus on challenging ones fears and resistance.

Claiborn, James, and Pedrick, Cherry. The BDD Workbook: Overcome body dysmorphic disorder and end body image obsessions. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2002.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is similar to OCD, but its main criterion is an obsession with perceived flaws of the body that is consuming and therefore dysfunctional. This book explains the disorder thoroughly and proposes solutions.

Ellis, Albert. How to control your anxiety before it controls you. Secaucus, NJ: Carol Publishing Group, 1998.

Dr. Ellis describes an approach called Rational-Emotive Behavioral therapy that is very similar to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, but don’t tell him I said that. Most valuable in this book is his chart for processing difficult events.

Foa, Edna B. and Wilson, Reid. S.T.O.P. Obsessing: How to overcome your obsessions and compulsions. NY: Bantam Books, 2001.

An excellent publication for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, this book thoroughly explains what is happening with an OCD patient and how you can retrain your thinking away from obsessions and compulsions. This is an easy read and gets to the point quickly.

Knaus, Bill EdD and Carlson, Jon PsyD, EdD. The Cognitive-Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety. New Harbinger Publications, 2008.
An excellent workbook that covers all the elements in a solid cognitive-behavioral treatment program.

Smith, Patrick. Ask the Pilot. Riverhead Trade: 2004.
Afraid of flying? Some people believe that understanding the science behind why air travel is possible demystifies the process and helps reduce anxious feelings about it.

Tolle, Eckhart. The power of now. New World Library, 2004.

Tolle’s language is not simple and some feel this book is better on audio, but be prepared to be spoken to by a voice similar to Gandolph the Gray from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Tolle describes the road to enlightenment as becoming able to exist fully in the present, instead of the past or future.

Client reading recommendations on the topic of anxiety:
1. Anxiety Girl, by Vanessa Monica Serrao
2. The Journey of Hanna Woods, by Helene Forst (FICTION)
3. On Edge, by Andrea Petersen.
4. Hi, Anxiety, by Kat Kinsman
5. Tiny Prisoners, by Maggie Hartley
6. Not Just Me, by Lisa Jakub


Burns, David D. Feeling good: the new mood therapy. NY: Penguin Group, 1999.

Revised several times over to reflect today’s concerns and updated treatment, this book teaches us how to retrain our thinking and practice healing thoughts.

Burns, David D. Ten days to self-esteem. NY: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 1993.

This is excellent tool for those who love a good workbook and are willing to take actual steps toward improving their self-perception and outlook.

Bipolar Disorder

Jamison, Kay R. The Unquiet Mind. New York: Vintage Books, 1995.

Kay Jamison allows us a look into her personal experience trying to balance a debilitating bipolar disorder with her ambitions.

Jamison, Kay R. Touched with Fire: Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament. Free Press, 1993.

It is important to understand the broad spectrum from an uneven temperament through chronic mood disruption and into the bipolar disorders. Kay Jamison assists us in understanding the fine line between creativity and illness.

Miklowitz, David J. The Bipolar Survival Guide. Guilford Press, 2002.

Essential and practical for anyone struggling with or loving someone struggling with this difficult disorder.

Papolos, Demitri and Papolos, Janice. The bipolar child: the definitive and reassuring guide to childhood’s most misunderstood disorder. Three Rivers Press, 2011.

This guide is well-known as a tool to help parents determine if their child might suffer from pediatric bipolar. There is enough illustrative information in order to find whether these situations are “familiar” to the parent reading it. Further, reading this book can arm a parent with solid, up-to-date information as they venture into difficult – and often murky – territory in an effort to help their child.


Dawson, Peg and Guare, Richard. Smart but scattered. Guilford Press, 2009.
The authors cleverly separate various skill sets and encourages the reader to identify which strengths and weaknesses exist in both the parent and in the child. I especially like this book because they don’t talk about ADHD, but rather our strengths vs. areas we need more development in. It is a very respectful book toward those that may lack some skills in attention or organization, but are nonetheless talented and capable people.

Hallowell, Edward and Ratey, John. Driven to distraction: recognizing and coping with attention deficit disorder from childhood through adulthood. Touchstone, 1995.

A classic for understanding and managing ADHD at all ages.

Hallowell, Edward and Ratey, John. Delivered from distraction. Ballantine Books, 2005.

A hopeful read identifying the various ways to treat and cope with ADHD.

Kelly, Kate and Ramundo, Peggy. You mean I’m not lazy, stupid, or crazy? The classic self-help book for adults with attention deficit disorder. Scribner, 2006.

Eye-opening in assisting us in distinguishing between ADHD and other difficulties.

Orlov, Melissa. The ADHD effect on marriage. Specialty Press, 2010.

Another eye-opener, outlining how ADHD affects marriages, which might get missed of a couple is reading run-of-the-mill relationship self-help books.

Childhood Abuse

Bass, Ellen and Davis, Laura. Courage to heal: A guide for women survivors of child sexual abuse. NY: Harper and Row, 1988.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse will find friends in these pages and help find the words to describe what happens inside of them.

Sanford, Linda T. Strong at the broken places. NY: RandomHouse, 1990.

This is a powerful and moving concept. If only one could learn to become and see themselves as “strong at the broken places,” the healing can take place.

Client reading recommendations on the topic of childhood abuse include:
1. A Child Called It, by Dave Pelzer
2. Why Me? by Sarah Burleton
3. What It Is, by Sarah Burleton
4. Why Them? by Sarah Burleton
5. Why Her? By Sarah Burleton
6. Call Me Tuesday, by Leigh Byrne
7. Call Me Cockroach, by Leigh Byrne
8. Spilled Milk, by K. L. Randis
9. The Ghost Girl, by Maggie Hartley
10. Tell No One, by Sarah Cooper
11. I’ll Give You Something to Cry About, by Elizabeth Acker
12. Estranged, by Jessica Berger Gross

Post-Partum Depression

Bennett, S, and Indman, Pec. Beyond the blues; a guide to understanding and treating prenatal and postpartum depression. Moodswings Press, 2003.
Kleiman, Karen R. and Raskin, Valerie D. This isn’t what I expected. Bantam Books: 1994.

Probably the best book I’ve read on Postpartum Depression, this book covers it all. If you think you are or have experienced this, or love someone who has, this book will provide comfort and answers.

Shields, Brooke. Down came the rain: my journey through post-partum depression. NY: Hyperion Press, 2005.

It was brave of Brooke Shields to let us into her own personal struggle. I believe a lot of readers will identify with the things Ms. Shields experienced an learned on her journey.


Beatty, Melody. The language of letting go. Hazeldon, 1990.